Best is Not Best - Better is Better
My wife and I were in the hospital delivery room, ready to give birth to our second child. It was the middle of the night and apparently the birthing universe decided that this was a good time for many other expectant mothers to give birth. It was clear that the poor nurse was stressed, overworked, and stretched thin. Her stress was starting to have an impact on the comfort and care of my wife. This was very different from the positive and supportive experience with our first child’s birth. I debated whether or not to address the nurse, fully knowing that I would only be adding to her stress level. However, in an attempt to support my wife, I decided to have a conversation with the nurse.
I cannot recall exactly the words I used to address my concern about the experience we were having in the delivery room. I was calm, but I’m sure my frustration was evident. However, it is likely that no matter how delicate the language and tone, it would not be received well in the moment. Regardless, her response is something that I will take with me as an impactful phrase and belief towards the leadership and service that I provide to others. “I’m doing the best that I can!” she said, which quickly ended our conversation. Unfortunately, the best she could was still not providing an adequate experience for our family.
Similarly, there is a common phrase that educators sometimes use when they justify a strategy or make a decision - it is, “I’m doing what’s best for kids.” Oftentimes, this phrase is used when a decision or action is met with disagreement. The irony is that two opposing views can both use this phrase to justify their actions at the same time. Each opposing person can justify their actions with the belief that they are doing “what’s best for kids,” and yet fully believe that their strategy is the best.
What's wrong with the two phrases, “..the best I can” and “I’m doing what’s best”? Both phrases tend to restrict one’s thinking about improvement and growth and, at the same time, potentially justify poor quality of product and service. Not fully knowing the realm of the delivery nurse’s job or the restrictions she was under, I’m wondering if she could have potentially done something differently to provide, even slightly better service.
Similarly, “I’m doing what’s best,” justifies the same actions that you’ve been doing. It allows behaviors and actions to continue without true reflection. It may very well be true that it is best, but how do you know? So, what should you do instead of saying, “doing my best” and “doing what’s best”? Add a component of analysis and reflection. Reflection and analysis can’t always happen in the moment. Sometimes there is no time to analyze while you're performing a task. In that case, reflection afterward is even more important for improvement.
Either in the moment or afterward, ask yourself these questions:
What can I control?
What am I trying to accomplish?
What are the priorities (mine and/or the organizations)? Are they aligned?
What type of product or service do I want to provide?
What can I do differently now or in the future?
What are the short term improvements? What are the long term improvements?
What structures can we put in place for better improvement (service or product)?
In stressful situations there are many factors that are out of one’s control. Building in analysis and reflection helps us understand what we can do differently now or next time. There may never really be a “best.” However, reflection and analysis will certainly help us be BETTER!
